Newspaper Clippings

THE HOLLYSIDE HADDOCK

 HEADLINES & ARTICLES OF INTEREST

"Always fishing for the truth!"

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Early September, 1892

THE LONGCOAT STRIKES AGAIN

The mangled remains of an unidentified man were discovered in a trash bin earlier this morning, his features rendered nigh-unrecognizable, as his skull and face was battered to pulp in a gruesome attack attributed to the mysterious character known only as LONGCOAT. Described as a lumbering, ten foot tall behemoth by those few who claim to have seen him, this harrowing individual has left a bloody trail of mangled corpses in his wake since emerging on the scene 8 long years ago. One can only shudder to think of any being capable of such violence being allowed to evade the authorities for so long!

When reached for comment, Hollyside Chief of Police Walton Rickenby was quoted as saying, “This Longcoat is a figment of Hollyside’s imagination. Any two bit crook who wants to toss the scent off his foul deed mangles the face of the victim, and the public automatically assumes that this Longcoat character is the culprit. I tell you, Hollyside has the finest men under the Crown, and there is no way that any criminal could evade our iron grip for almost a decade! Whatever the case, we are already doggedly pursuing several leads regarding this particular case, and expect to make our apprehension soon.”

MISSING CHILD

Julian Nile, age 8, reported missing on this last Friday, was last seen near Hollyside Harbor. His parents, Linda and Conroy Nile, Jr. beg any citizen of Hollyside to come forth with any information regarding the whereabouts of their beloved son. We at the Haddock hope and pray for the lad’s safe return.

ASHEN MEN WAIL ON ANNIVERSARY OF GREAT CALAMITY

More sightings of moaning, phantasmal figures writing in pain, covered in brilliant green flames have been reported near the center of Hollyside, where several newly opened factories were decimated by suspicious fires that dealt a crippling economic blow to the city of Hollyside. It is famously said that during the anniversary of the great blaze, one can hear the spirits of the victims moaning and wailing through the charred evening breeze.

One can only imagine how very different a place Hollyside might look today had the horrible fire not consumed the lion’s share of the town almost a decade ago. With not even a whisper of rebuilding efforts to come, it seems that the city is forever relegated to being an unfortunate reminder of the price of unchecked industrialization, even though many suspect foul play caused the milestone event. The truth may forever elude us, dear readers, but the Haddock’s quest for the truth shall never burn away!

WEDDING BELLS FOR THE WIDOW OF WINTERY PLACE

Miss Marylisse Bancroft of Winterly Place will tie the knot for the eighth time to Mister Sigmund Baines later this month. Bancroft, who has been unlucky in love to say the least, has had all seven of her previous husbands meet horrid and highly suspicious ends relatively early in their lives. When asked about the dire list of ex Husbands his bride-to-be has collected, Mister Baines commented the following, “The love I feel for Marylisse can overcome any misfortune, I assure you!”. Let’s certainly hope so. The happy couple intend to honeymoon in Ireland come October.

HOLLYSIDE INSTITUTION CLOSES DOORS

The Princely Penny antique shop was one of the first businesses to set up shop during the great Industrial boom that Hollyside enjoyed more than a decade ago, and, sadly, will close its doors this coming Saturday. When asked for comment, proprietor Freshly K. Prince tearfully stated, “Simply had to do it, son. I tried to stick it out, I really did. After the fire and all that, wanted to be patriotic and support what this place was supposed to represent, but you got vandals and hoods running wild. Just the other day, someone hurled a brick through me shop window and practically scared good Miss Cloverlender to death! I tells ya, a proper business just can’t thrive in a place like this anymore, and it truly breaks me heart to leave!”. We wish best of luck to the Mister Prince and his business, wherever they plan to relocate.
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Early October, 1892

HONEYMOON HORROR IN EMERALD ISLE

Mister Sigmund Baines has become the latest in a long line of husbands to die under horribly suspicious circumstances shortly after wedding Miss Marylisse Bancroft. The newlywed couple had taken to Ireland to honeymoon after their union, but their wedding bliss was indeed short lived, as Mister Baines (after a raucous celebration the night prior) stumbled overboard and was promptly devoured by a passing shark hours before docking. Horrified onlookers did their best to console the once-again widowed Widow of Wintery Place, who could not be reached for comment.  

RUTTERGOLD DISTURBANCE WILL GO UNINVESTIGATED

Reports of gunfire at the abandoned Ruttergold Dining Hall in mid September will go largely ignored by the Hollyside Constabulary. When reached for comment, Police Chief Rickenby curtly quipped, “I’d need a force easily eight times as large if I’m to send investigators to every report of gunfire in Hollyside. No one’s reported a body, so I can’t report a crime, now can I?” Startling detective work, indeed.

WORLD FAMOUS HUNTSMAN DELAYS SOJOURN TO BRITAIN

Renowned Big Game Hunter Atwal  Bagha has postponed his highly publicized trip to England this month due to a devastating monsoon that battered his native India this past week. The storm has already claimed dozens of lives and made sea travel in and out of India nigh-impossible. The grossly wealthy Bagha is intending to reschedule his visit to the Queen’s land for the first quarter of 1893 at the very earliest, pending how long repairs to coastal ports take to complete.

CRIMSON CRIME WAVE CONTINUES TO DROWN PORT QUARTER

The alleys of Hollyside have long been the playground of numerous street gangs comprised of the very worst of Humanity, with nightly turf wars slicking the cobblestone streets bloody in a brutal and violent maelstrom as gangs clash for supremacy over all things illicit and indecent. After a turbulent and bitter session of street warfare, it seems that there is now a top dog among the scavengers, as the dreaded gang known as THE BARNACLE BOYS seems to have positioned themselves at the top of the heap. Once considered just another shabby assortment of miscreants and thugs, the Barnacle Boys have graduated to become a very real power in Hollyside, now owning the most lucrative bits of gambling and prostitution rackets throughout the beleaguered Port Quarter of our city.

Constable Perry Radcliffe recently shared with the Haddock, “It ain’t a mess of gangs sticking it out in the streets anymore. These Barnacle Boys have real leadership now, and other smalltime gangs have taken notice, joining with them and increasing their number and influence.” One can only shudder to think at the sort of individual cunning enough to unite so many lost souls under one bloody banner of banditry!

DIGNIFIED DUO DEBUT IN DESTITUTE DESTINATION

Reports of fine carriages taking to the charred streets of Hollyside’s Industrial Quarter had the Haddock offices buzzing earlier last month, and it has been confirmed that Lord Daniel Talbot has been seen alongside the wealthy Mister Milton Kellog. Such a distinguished pair could rally significant resources for whatever reason they chose, and one could only wonder if perhaps they were appraising the area for a potential land deal? Whatever the case may be, the Haddock would like to extend a fond welcome to the two illustrious gentlemen and wish them best of luck in whatever endeavors they set their sizable influence towards.

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Mid October, 1892

GRIM CROP YIELD PREDICTS BITTER HARVEST

The humble farms that dot the Park Quarter of Hollyside seem to be in rough form, and experts of agriculture seem to be at a loss for the recently pitiable yields. When reached for comment, resident farmer Nathaniel Darkin spoke to the Haddock on the troubling situation, “This land’s been fertile for generations, and as sudden as the sunset, I can’t so much as grow a batch of brittle weeds! Tell you one thing, I will, the locusts ain’t got a single shred to nibble on, but they seem to be swarming about more than ever! I’ve never seen a thing like it.” If crop yields meet such low expectations, this could form a troubling pattern.

MASTER ARTISAN SUCCUMBS TO RED COUGH

After a grueling battle with consumption, Master Blacksmith ANDREW KIRKHALL was buried this week. Many attended the renowned artisan’s funeral, and more than a few have noted that his passing is truly the end of an era. The Kirkhall Smithy was closed after his passing, and with automated technology improving every day, the age of the Blacksmith seems to be a fading trade. With no remaining family of his own, Mister Kirkhall’s remaining business and dealings were left to his former apprentice, Mister Tobias Clark.

CITY PREPARES FOR VASSITER SPREE

The annual Hollyside Race Track event known as the Vassiter Spree will take place in a few months time, and already, the city is buzzing with anticipation. Winner of the last three races (and heavy favourite this year) FOUR-HOOF CLOVER is looking quite fit and primed to make it a four-year streak at the finish line, and this reporter will certainly be wagering whatever spare shillings they can come race day. One would be remiss to not bring up the seedier side of this hallowed event, which sees underground gambling houses and gangs ply their trade. With the Barnacle Boys in full control of Hollyside’s illicit gambling affairs, the nefarious gang should be expecting a windfall come race day no matter which majestic steed takes the Vassiter crown.

PHANTOM FLAMES CONFOUND PORT QUARTER

Strange reports of sudden bursts of flames scattered throughout the Port Quarter were reported last week by numerous witnesses. Strange bursts of blazing heat seemed to randomly ignite and then extinguish without a trace. In the midst of the evening, a lone flare illuminated the sky, and only hours later, the explosive displays ceased. Scouring the afflicted areas saw no evidence of arson or flames, though the air was tinged with the unmistakable scent of freshly charred brimstone for several days afterwards…

A CORRECTION FROM THE EDITING OFFICE

In our ever-engaging efforts to bring the dear readers of this humble newspaper the truth in all its forms, some mistakes are bound to spring up. While we do our very best to deliver prompt and accurate stories and headlines, we are not above correcting mistakes brought to our attention, and the staff at the Haddock humbly apologize for the errors in our report regarding the Rightly Honorable Viscount Daniel Talbot and his wealthy associate Milton Kellogg. Rest assured, such oversights of title and spelling are the exception at the Haddock offices, and not the norm.

Of course, no slight or offense was intended to any affected and highly considered parties.

TREMORS RACK HOLLYSIDE

While the Queen’s fair lands are not known as a hive of tectonic activity, a small Earthquake gave a good rattle to most Quarters of Hollyside earlier this week. Luckily, the worst of the damage was seen by older structures at the Port Quarter, with no deaths or injuries being reported as of the time of this writing.

With the recent Monsoon that has devastated India’s shores, it certainly seems that the trend for natural disasters isn’t relegated to one part of the Empire. Indeed, by comparison of events, one would surely find a few minutes of frightful tremors infinitely preferable to the utter destruction of Mother Nature’s wrath elsewhere.

Nonetheless, the tremors have brought out the fatalist in some people. Retired crab fisherman Thomas Slywell spoke to the Haddock, “I tells ya, in all me 78 years of livin’, me never seen the world in such a state. Monsoons battering half of India, Earthquakes tossing around beneath me feet, and the whole world going cross-eyed and upside down. Mark me words, there’s grimness on the way, and it certainly ain’t pretty!”  The offices of the Haddock take a different view of things, seeing that a mild earthquake with no injuries or deaths seems to be fortunate when compared to Hollyside’s history with calamity. If only such mindsets were as contagious as paranoia and panic.

MISSING BOY FOUND

Julian Niles (reported missing in early September’s issue of the Haddock) was found healthy and sound earlier this week. The boy was rescued by CONSTABLE PERRY RADCLIFFE, who found the lad hidden in a makeshift tent underneath Hollyside Port. When questioned, young Master Julian detailed a fight with his parents that sent the lad running away in a huff.

We at the Haddock would like to formally commend Constable Radcliffe (who could not be reached for comment) on his fine police work, and hope that further disagreements at the Niles household conclude without such worrisome sojourns, as perilously few stories that conclude in the Port Quarter have such happy endings!

GRAND SCAM FLIM FLAM ARTIST INCARCERATED

Calvin Dobsin, aged 43, was recently arrested after faking his own death in order to flee Hollyside with an unidentified mistress. Dobsin, who is married with seven children, created an elaborate scheme where he was reportedly shot in the back by a masked ruffian in the Commons Quarter in broad daylight. Said assailant turned out to be Dobsin’s disguised mistress, firing blank rounds and using fake blood to complete the illusionary scene. After a mock funeral, Dobsin was recognized attempting to flee the city via train by a former work associate and was promptly apprehended for his downright ungentlemanly deceits.

PORTSIDE CRIMINAL CRACKDOWN IMMINENT

Sergeant James Sidlock of the Hollyside Police Department has finally responded officially to the horrific state of affairs in the Port Quarter of our beleaguered city. The last month has seen a tremendous rise in crime rates as the motley assemblage of ruffians and street gangs have joined forces under a mysterious leader and been rechristened THE BARNACLE BOYS. Since that dire event, reports of beatings, vandalism and even murder have exploded, making this raucous organization public enemy number one for Sidlock, who elaborates:

“I’ve assembled a team of specialists to crack into these Barnacle Boys for good. We’ve got the most talented, accomplished investigators on the force digging their claws into things, and it’ll be a matter of days before we can bring their mysterious figurehead to light. Once that occurs, like most vermin exposed to the rays of an unforgiving sun, the lot of them will disperse or be smashed!” According to the good Sergeant, this special task force will begin ferreting out Barnacle Boy activity and patterns immediately.

Sidlock’s rise to prominence on the Hollyside police force is certainly admirable, serving as a Bobby for a mere handful of years before rising to the position of Sergeant and becoming a formidable weapon in the endless crusade against crime. When asked about allegations of corruption regarding those under his command, Sidlock offered no comment.

A LOVE FOR THE LONGCOAT?

The following letter was delivered to the Haddock and paid to be printed herein. The Haddock offices, as always, do not verify the credence of the contents (or the sanity of the author).

Mister Longcoat,

I do believe that you are a very misunderstood gent, and that with a good woman’s love and care, you can become a highly valuable member of society. I understand that some men simply need to be murdered, and deeply believe that you are working the good Lord’s will with your labors. I assure you, I am not one easily dissuaded, and believe that we would make an excellent pairing. I have left my contact information with the Haddock offices (in a sealed and perfumed letter) and look forward to your courting.

Yours in sincerity,

“Miss Frock”

PS-I saw you one time in the Industrial Quarter after you dismembered a fleeing pickpocket and thought that both of your heads were quite handsome.

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Late October, 1892

HALLOW’S EVE PRANK GOES AWRY

ORDLY TARVISH, aged 72, died in truly macabre fashion this week when he was literally scared to death by childhood friend GUNTHER CROD in the Commons Quarter of Hollyside. The two had a yearly tradition where they would each try to out-frighten the other on the week of Samhain, a tradition the two had practiced since they were children. This fateful year, Crod had dressed himself up as a mummy, wrapping himself in dusty, dirty rags and hiding himself in a bush in Tarvish’s rose garden, only to leap out and give his lifelong friend a massive scare that shocked his heart into expiration. Hollyside Police investigated the matter, but have no suspicion of foul play, only horse play gone horribly, horribly wrong. 

BEATEN BOBBY GETS CLOSE SHAVE

Constable BARNABY BONDERS was assaulted on his usual patrol in the Port Quarter earlier this week, assailed by a pack of thugs who administered a prompt and savage beating that sent the Constable into unconsciousness. Thankfully, he escaped the fray without any substantial injuries beyond some bruises and bumps.

When he awoke, the Constable was shocked to find that half of his shockingly orange mustache had been crudely shaved, in what must surely be one of the stranger robberies that has ever been reported. Constable Bonders returned to work later in the week, sporting a clean shaven face for the first time in 2 decades. He could not be reached for comment.   

The attack comes on the heels of Sergeant James Sidlock’s vow to bring the recent crimewave orchestrated by THE BARNACLE BOYS to an end. With increased police presence in the afflicted Port Quarter, one can only expect the violence to escalate before it improves.

THE GHOST OF KIRKHALL SMITHY?

Reports have come from numerous witnesses claiming to see glowing lights and thick, billowing smoke drifting from the old Kirkhall smithy, despite the shop being closed down for weeks now after the death of its proprietor, legendary blacksmith ANDREW KIRKHALL. Sounds from the surrounding area hint that someone, or something is still hard at work in the abandoned workshop!

The Kirkhall Smithy was in operation for almost 5 decades, and is located at the fringes of the Industrial Quarter of Hollyside. The structure was untouched during the Grand Blaze, and still stands much as it did all those years ago when it first opened.

DARKIN FARMSTEAD PROSPERS

In a dramatic turn of fortune, the recently blighted Darkin Farmstead (located at the fringes of the Park Quarter) has taken in a banner harvest this year, yielding record crop growth where only weeks prior a truly perplexing drought seemed to haunt their land.

VIOLET DARKIN, aged 18, elaborated on the newfound prosperity; “It just goes to show you that even when things seem bleakest, there are people, truly good and selfless people, willing to help turn things around.” The only daughter of local curmudgeon NATHANIEL DARKIN wouldn’t elaborate on who specifically helped with her farmstead woes, only adding “The responsible parties know who they are, and know that we are grateful.”

POOR HOUSE TO OPEN IN HOLLYSIDE

Father LAURENT KENDALMOOR has made the controversial decision to choose the Hollyside Port Quarter as the location for his Poor House, where the destitute and penniless masses can find shelter and solace from the horrors of poverty. Police personally warned Father Kendalmoor that the Port Quarter is a hive for violence and horrors that will only escalate in time, but the good Father would hear no such thing, remarking to the Haddock; “God’s grace is needed most in desperate places, with desperate people. It is here that I have been called to lend a hand in distributing the mercy of our great and bountiful lord.” Father Kendalmoor and a small staff will tend to the poor house, which is currently accepting donations.
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Early November, 1892

FREAK STORM SIZZLES CITY

The usually dreary and bleak skies of Hollyside have been a veritable fireworks display in recent days, with a full week of freakishly violent thunder and lightning storms playing havoc on the electrical systems of the city. Numerous telegraph poles have been hit with stray lightning bolts, two of which have even caught fire, but were dutifully put out before much damage was sustained.

BARNACLE BOYS MASTERMIND UNMASKED

The following letter was delivered to the Haddock offices earlier this week, complete with a small pouch filled with clippings of shockingly orange hair. The letter is reprinted below in its entirety.

Dearest Boys in blue,

You say you want to clean up my Quarter, eh? You think flooding my streets with a few Bobbies is enough to run me and my boys off like roaches to be stomped? The trick’ll be much harder than that, let me assure you. If it’s a war you’re knocking on, then consider my door always open, as the Port Quarter may not be big enough for us after a time, and we might start branching out to consume Hollyside like a plague.

Sarge Sidlock made me my own special task force? Well, I’m honored, chap, I truly is, and I look very much forward to meeting you close and personal like in the very near future. Since you coppers ain’t been detecting much lately, I’ll be a sport and crack the case of my identity and give you a head start. Sound fair?

Last warning: Stay away from the Port Quarter or me and my boys will drown Hollyside in tides of blood.

Sincerely,

“Itchy” Ian Colben

PS: Enclosed is a bit of one of your Bobs. I’m sure Constable Bonders will be happy to be reunited with a piece of his old self, eh? Next time we see him on our turf, it won’t be half his mustache I’ll be mailin’ in…

MAD SWEDE ESCAPES TRANSFER TRAIN

Criminally insane Swedish immigrant BRODER GUNTERSSON, aged 47, was on his was via train to be transferred to newly built Havendon Asylum in Sussex under heavy guard when a freak lightning bolt destroyed a portion of the track, leading to a gruesome train crash in which 15 were pronounced dead. Guntersson was never recovered from the wreckage, but all guard escorts were found dead at the scene.

The wreck occurred on the outskirts of Hollyside, and while Guntersson has not been seen within the borders of the city, Police Sergeant James Sidlock warns that the Swede is to be considered extremely dangerous and any sightings of this bizarre madman should be reported immediately. Guntersson has been in and out of various madhouses for the majority of his adult life after killing both his adopted parents in grisly fashion with an ax when he was just 15.  

ROOFTOP ROCKETEER SPOTTED

It simply wouldn’t be an issue of the Haddock without a truly strange eye witness account, but several reports have flooded our office about a strange human figure hopping from rooftop to rooftop in the Industrial Quarter via the aid of some manner of bizarre rocket contraption strapped to his back. The figure has yet to be identified, and more reports seem to be coming in by the hour.

SERGEANT JAMES SIDLOCK wryly commented on the recurring reports; “Oh, we’ve several divisions of men on this case, and I assure you, all dragons, pixies and flying things in Hollyside are considered suspects in the caper. Is that all?”

TREMERLY PARK GROUNDSKEEPER UNDAUNTED

MORTIMER BOWHOUSE, aged 65, has been the groundskeeper of Tremerly Park in the Park Quarter of Hollyside for over half his life. Even though funding for the public park has dried up after the Grand Blaze of 1882, Mister Bowhouse has not strayed from his duty of tending to what was once a sprawling, beautiful place.

While truly one man can make little difference in such a grand expanse of land, Mister Bowhouse remains loyal to his vows, even though the gent hasn’t procured a paycheck from his labors for almost a decade; “Just ain’t right, I say. Tremerly Park was beautiful once, and it will always be beautiful to me. I’ll be here, every morning, snipping and trimming, pruning and weeding until I’m in the ground here meself. It’s a horrid thing to be forgotten, it is.”

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